The Torment and Revelation of Watching Your Personality in Action

From junior high through high school, I did a good bit of acting, and one of the plays I did was called “No Exit,” written by Jean-Paul Sartre. The final line of the play has stuck with me decades after the final performance: “Hell is other people!”

When I took the Part II Training with the Enneagram Institute, I participated in an exercise in which you team up with others of your personality type to complete a project. The exercise was described as possibly being “a little taste of hell.” That’s because you see your own foibles writ large in the others you’re trying to work with. That can be squirm-inducing, to say the least. You see, probably more clearly than at any other time in your life, what you look like to other people. Which, of course, is a huge part of what the exercise is about.

Now, I was with people who know the Enneagram and are present at least some of the time, so my experience was not dreadful. However, lately I’ve been surrounded by my Type, and it’s really bugging me!

This set of Sevens know little to nothing about the Enneagram, so I get to see all of my/their patterns laid bare. The self-interest, the sometimes-obnoxious assertiveness, the irritability and shortness when something interrupts their happy dream of how life should be, the assertion of their opinion as though it were fact – and so on. I watch how we try to avoid conflict by over-promising, then blame someone else or just refuse to care (or, worst case, go into fearful, freak-out hyperactive mode) when we under-deliver. How we try to charm our way through things.

Yuck. Well, it’s good to see it all, to own it and yet also not be ashamed about it. We didn’t make ourselves, and we didn’t break ourselves. I can see all of it and say, “Yep, I do that, too,” and ask the One who can unbreak us for help. The Enneagram is a great tool in this process, as well. It enables us to see our patterns, which ultimately hold us in bondage to our false selves, and to become present enough to choose not to give in to our patterns. It’s a lifetime of work, but it’s either this work or being a slave our whole lives. I choose the work.

So, Sartre didn’t quite have it right; hell is not other people. Hell begins here on Earth with separation from our God and our true selves and, if connection with God through the saving work of Jesus is not made, it continues on into eternity. In fact, not only is hell not other people, but life and revelation are other people! I recommend finding others of your Type and hanging out with them. Enneagram groups, whether in person or online, are fantastic for this purpose. They are excellent sources of learning and sharing about your own Type and others’.

In  fact, if you’re local to the Santa Cruz, California area, contact me (heath@uncoverydiscovery.com) about joining my monthly group!

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