What Does it Mean to Be Awake, and How Do You Get There?

“Awakening isn’t simple. What is simple is our part in it…You are not responsible for your own awakening. But it is a gift you can receive, and there are things you can do to increase that possibility. In any moment you can choose to pay attention.” –Dr. David G. Benner, Spirituality and the Awakening Self

Humans like to earn stuff. The Olympics, the Academy Awards, scout badges, employee of the week – you name it, we want to earn it. At a scholarship pageant in high school, I won the talent competition with an a cappella rendition of “Stormy Weather.” That made me feel pretty good. I competed for plenty of accolades before and after, too. It’s expected. It’s assumed. It feels good. It’s what we do.

We like to earn our salvation, too. We grow up learning the lists of do’s and don’ts, seeing who can memorize the most Bible verses, faithfully attending church and having devotional times and volunteering at church functions…and so on. In all this religious scurry, the idea creeps in that these good deeds are what keep us on God’s good side.

Grace is hard for us. That’s because our Inner Critic is law-based. The personality is the soul’s attempt to organize and live out a life apart from direct contact with God. The Inner Critic does its best to play the part of the Holy Spirit, nudging us to do this and not do that, but it’s a poor substitute. It follows a set of self-created rules that cannot comprehend the unearned kindness of God.

This is almost certainly why most of us don’t get to the “awakening” phase of existence that Dr. Benner speaks of in the quote above. Awakening is not a New Age term here; it just means waking up from the sleepwalk of our limiting, habitual behavior patterns so we can see our true selves and God more clearly. It’s not something we can earn or make happen, and that is anathema to our standard operating procedure. It doesn’t seem to make sense. We make all kinds of things happen – why not this, too? “Surely,” the argument goes, “if I apply myself, create a schedule and try really hard, I can create my own awakening.”

Herein lies the central paradox. We cannot awaken ourselves, precisely because awakening is not based on action. It is based on a kind of inaction that most of us find abhorrent: sitting still and being quiet. This simple yet often excruciating act (at least, initially) facilitates what Dr. Benner means by paying attention. Stillness teaches us how unstill and noisy our minds are, shows us how we fill our brains with useless “action” and live on the autopilot set forth by our personality type. As we practice being still, a measure of quiet comes, and we can begin to hear the still, small voice of the God who lives inside us and even the voice of our true selves.

Paying attention requires great courage. That’s why it is so seldom undertaken. In my work with individuals, I find that this step is the one people are most resistant to and least likely to do. And that’s tragic, because I have become convinced, as Dr. Benner makes plain, that transformation is not possible without it.

Choosing to be still, to begin to pay attention, is one of the few things in life you get to decide. You can’t make awakening happen, but you can make room for its happening – or, as a friend would say, for the action of grace. If you’re tired of trying to earn everything, accept grace where it can be found. Lose your (false) life and you will find it (your real life). Be strong and courageous; learn to be still.

I’ve created a 2017 Stillness Pledge and hope you’ll join me. It’s simple: Pledge to yourself that you will devote five minutes a day—to start with—learning to be still. This video is a great place to start. Increase by a minute every week until you get to 20 minutes. And watch the transformation unfold! Please let me know in the comments below, on Facebook or on Twitter that you’ve joined in so we can all support each other.

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