The Freedom of Not Knowing
When I was studying with Wycliffe in Texas, I had to take a class called “Intercultural Communication and Training.” One day, the instructor showed a Venn diagram that showed, essentially, what you personally believe, what another person or culture believes, and what is true (what God believes). This was a long time ago, and I’m not really doing the diagram justice, because it had a profound effect on me. It made me mad!
The instructor’s point was that we cannot know everything, and beliefs that we cherish might not be ones that God shares. This was very disturbing to me, because I felt sure (as a Head type) that with enough study we could know everything we needed to know and have rock-solid, irreproachable theology. I remember lamenting in class, “But I want to know absolute truth!”
That’s not a bad thing. In a world where absolutes are less and less regarded and adhered to, wanting to know what is real and true can transform your sphere of influence. It’s just that book learning and correct ideas are not the whole picture. In fact, left to their own devices, they can lead to the harsh legalism that we’ve seen from time to time through history in every religion.
Experiencing God first-hand is not something you can adequately describe, is it? It’s a kind of knowing beyond facts, beyond words even. I used to sit in prayer and feel God’s presence come forth from the core of my being and think, “What does this mean? What am I supposed to do with this? What is the purpose?” So much Head in the way!
Since then, I have learned that God’s presence is sufficient unto itself. It doesn’t have to have a purpose beyond just being. There might be secondary benefits to lingering wordlessly in God’s presence—and there are—but the Presence is that it is. I don’t need to know the reason or the outcome anymore. I just enjoy it.
Now, I understand that this is not everyone’s struggle. I am speaking from a Head position (Types 5, 6 and 7). For us, study must be tempered with experience. It’s good for everyone to study, to memorize Scripture and understand what God’s word says and even know a bit of Church history to put things in context. But Head types will need to add in knowing God by experience (engaging their gut and heart centers) as well. This will help them overcome their fear of not knowing all the facts.
Gut types (8, 9 and 1) know God in instinctive, practical ways – but they are driven by anger, so they will need to balance their religious impulses with head knowledge and with the heart’s compassion.
Heart types (2, 3 and 4) can often connect to God at a deep feeling level easier than other Types, but a fuller knowing of God is available as they engage their heads in study and their guts in stepping into actions that they may usually feel inadequate to do.
There’s a book on my Amazon wish list that I’m really looking forward to reading, a classic called “The Cloud of Unknowing.” Just the title alone gives me joy, because it speaks to the reality that, even if we are fully using all of our Centers to know God, we cannot in our present state know him fully. He dwells in inapproachable light, and we catch glimpses of him if we’re paying attention. He doesn’t expect more than that. The day after Easter, I am reminded that God’s grace frees us from having to know everything. Just believing the little that we do know changes our eternity – both present and future.
Quick Start Guide to Centering Prayer
This short guide gives you the essentials for learning to be still and quiet before God so you can hear his voice and feel his love in a deeper way.
