Let Difficulty Be Your Teacher

Last week’s work duties were difficult for me. I needed to perform some atypical tasks that were time-sensitive and sometimes required hurry. (I shared my thoughts on hurry in this post.) By Friday, I observed emotions of anger and depression beginning to rise up. Because I understand the Enneagram to a degree, and because I understand that emotions are generated by the mind and therefore not that trustworthy, I took this opportunity to let difficulty be my teacher.

You may know the phrase, “The most difficult person in your life is your greatest teacher.” In the same vein, circumstances and situations that you find difficult are also opportunities to learn. Last week was definitely such an opportunity for me! As I observed my emotions, I realized that the tasks required of me would not cause the same reaction in others. So, it had to be something to do with my personality.

I have a Type Seven personality, in Enneagram parlance. This is one of the Fear-based types. That means Types Five, Six and Seven fear that there is no inner guidance to help them navigate the world. They are unsure how to move forward in a scary, chaotic universe. With this knowledge, I was able to see that constantly switching from one task to another, and having tasks thrown my way that I didn’t know were coming, causes stress for me specifically because I am not able to move forward. I am instead stopping, moving sideways, zigzagging, backing up, bracing for the next unknown.

This feels like chaos to the deep instinctual part of me, the part that is trying to keep me alive. It reinforces the lie that the non-rational part of me still believes: there is no order in the universe. There is no guidance, no one to help me. I am alone in a world that doesn’t make sense and is unpredictable. I could die any second. My limbic self is terrified.

Stress is, after all, a fancy word for fear. Can you imagine asking someone how work’s going and they respond, “Hard – I’m really scared”? Of course not. Stress sounds so much more respectable. It’s a state we’re so used to that many people consider it a normal part of life.

The stress reaction in humans is a modified form of the fight or flight response. Our poor little psyches think we’re in actual physical danger when deadlines are looming or other hard things happens at work. What is “hard” is determined by what your personality feels threatened by. Me? Lack of order. Uncertainty. Hurry.

Now, no one I know enjoys a “fast-paced work environment” – and I roll my eyes every time I see that as a requirement in a job description! So, lots of people who do not have a Type Seven personality also react negatively to the scurry and distraction that comprised last week. What I’m trying to do is get down to the root of my own reactions so that I can stop reacting and be present instead.

Understanding what lies you believe is a powerful step toward not believing them anymore. I don’t want to be ruled by lies – do you? The Enneagram is such a wonderful tool for awareness because it helps you understand the particular set of lies that are causing suffering in your life. That’s why I continue to recommend learning it. Then you can let difficulty be your teacher.

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