Putting It All Together for Type Two

Matthew McConaughey has a Type Two personality

As promised, I am returning to the “Putting It All Together” series. This time, let’s look at the various components that make up an Enneagram Type Two personality.

Center: Heart/Feeling (underlying emotion is shame)

Hornevian Group: Compliant (to the Superego)

Object Relation Group: Rejection

Harmonic Group: Positive Outlook

As a Heart type, Twos process the world through their emotions. But Riso & Hudson are quick to point out that Heart types rarely make contact with their true hearts and instead “substitute all kinds of reactions for the power of real feelings.” I’m thinking that, since their underlying emotion is shame, Twos subconsciously fear that if they contact their real hearts, they will be overwhelmed by feelings of worthlessness and therefore avoid it.

Instead, they focus on actions that will make them feel good about themselves, giving them value according to the dictates of their superego. Their superego message is, “You are good or okay if you are loved by others.” A Compliant type, they are very obedient to this message, which is particularly loud because the Compliant superego is fat! That is, it’s louder and more forceful than in the other Hornevian groups.

For the Two, validation comes from external sources. As part of the Positive Outlook group, Twos are certain that their actions can help improve the lives of those they love. So they busy themselves serving and empathizing, making themselves indispensable to others. Riso & Hudson say that they are over-identified with the positive aspects of their identity. So they focus on those, keep serving and empathizing, and the cycle goes on unabated.

But because they are part of the Rejection object relations group, they live in fear of being rejected and defend against it by making sure that they are valuable to others by serving them. After all, isn’t this what the superego requires? That shame inside them has convinced them that they have no inherent value. Isn’t helping others how they know and feel their value? It is a lovely thing in the abstract to serve others; it is a kind of curse when you are a Two, because it requires that they ignore their own needs. Which, of course, leads to all sorts of problems for them.

Again, this is just a short examination of how these various aspects of Twoness interact, in the hopes of helping you understand how and why you or others tick. Just remember that it doesn’t have to stay this way! The Enneagram describes the box you are in AND how to get out of it. Start learning it today if you haven’t already. Here is a link to my favorite book on the topic.

Update: It only now occurs to me that I’ve painted a rather bleak picture of the Two personality; I imagine Matthew McConaughey would be rather upset with me if he were to read this! So, first, I will say that if any disparaging was done, which was not my intention, it was aimed at the personality structure and how it constricts people, not at Type Two people. Second, I am blessed to have several Twos in my life who are safe havens of love for me, and that’s a pretty great thing to have. Third, the Apostle John was a Two, and he shows us Jesus through a beautiful love lens that’s unlike anything else in the New Testament. I hope that rounds things out a bit better! And I will try to round things out in subsequent “Putting it all Together” entries.

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