Putting it All Together for Type Three

Tom Cruise is an Enneagram Three.

On we go with the “Putting It All Together” series. It’s time to turn our attention to the Type that exemplifies the Type of our nation. Let’s look at the various components that make up a Type Three personality.

Center: Heart/Feeling (underlying emotion is shame)

Hornevian: Assertive

Harmonic: Competency

Object Relation Group: Attachment

There’s a commercial out now that I have to mute every time it comes on because it makes me tired. I can’t even remember what it’s a commercial for (if you remember, share in the comments!), but it’s a frenetic series of video clips of people in motion, and the first line of narration is, “America is a nation of Doers.”

The energy, as well as the message, is very Three. Sandra Maitri, in her book “The Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram,” refers to this Type as Ego-Go. Threes do not slow down; they are in constant motion. A lot of doing gets done, but is that always the best thing? The American mythology of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps, being self-made, getting to the moon first would say yes, but let’s take a look at what’s fueling this non-stop activity.

Type Three is the anchor of the heart/feeling triad, but of all the Heart Types, Three is most asleep to his or her own heart. They don’t actually know their own heart’s desire; it’s buried under the need to fulfill someone else’s desire. The underlying emotion of this triad is shame, and shame shows up subconsciously for Threes as a feeling that they have no inherent value, that they are only valuable because of what they do. This is why Three America is a nation of doers, and why Threes are one of the Types most susceptible to workaholism.

This drives the Three’s need for excellence and the desire to be acknowledged for their achievements. A Three is not shy about cataloging their “wins” to anyone who will listen. That’s the assertive quality coming out. “I will make my success happen, and I will make sure you know about it.” Because of the Three’s shame, he or she is attached (object relation) to “the positive regard of others for validation” (Riso & Hudson). They have to be assertive; how else will they get your positive regard?

Competency shows up in the focus on excellence that I just mentioned. “Anything worth doing is worth doing well” is a Three saying (as opposed to Sevens, who are the masters of “good enough”). After all, excellence is what gets you noticed. Competency also has to do with avoidance of emotions, which are messy and can slow you down. Another Three phrase is “Emotions are speed bumps on the road to success.” Imagine how that goes over in personal relationships.

As I’ve said before, this is just a short examination of how various aspects of Threeness interact, in the hopes of helping you understand the varied elements that come together to make a personality. This is by no means exhaustive; it’s a snapshot of a few of the elements. And remember, too, that each Type has its blessings for the world.

The Enneagram describes the box you are in AND how to get out of it. Start learning it today if you haven’t already.

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