Moving Toward Destiny: Know Your Own Tricks

Today I’d like to talk about a way of looking at behavior characteristics that will help you more accurately type yourself if you are still having trouble with that. It will also help you to understand the forces that are working behind the scenes in your own and others’ lives. And that will improve your work and personal relationships. It will move you closer to becoming who you were meant to be. Heck, it’ll even help you feel more compassion for strangers.

I’ve talked about the Harmonic Groups before, and I’ve talked about the Hornevian Groups, so today I’m going to put them both together in a way that brings greater clarity to each of the Enneagram Types. I taught this recently in my monthly EnneaGroup, and people found it helpful. You may even feel, as you read through the list, a visceral sense of the energy of each Type, as one group member did. Observing someone’s energy (agitated, fast-paced, laid back) can help you understand their Type, as well.

You can go back and read about the Harmonic and Hornevian Groups, but I’ll also give a quick recap here: the Hornevian Groups describe how people show up in the world – that is, what their default behavior is to get their personality’s needs met. This is also referred to as their Social Style. The Harmonic Groups, on the other hand, describe how people react when they are not getting their needs met. This is also referred to as their Coping Style.

Here are the Hornevian Groups:

Withdrawn: 9, 4, 5

Dutiful: 1, 2, 6

Assertive: 8, 3 7

And the Harmonics:

Positive Outlook: 9, 2, 7

Emotional Realness: 8, 4, 6

Competency: 1, 3, 5

So, now it’s time to put them together. I recommend printing out a blank Enneagram symbol (you can get one here) and writing the group combos down for each Type. There just isn’t enough space in this blog post format to create a readable graphic, and writing it down will help you absorb the information better. Okay, here we go:

8 = Assertive/Emotional Realness

9 = Withdrawn/Positive Outlook

1 = Dutiful/Competency

2 = Dutiful/Positive Outlook

3 = Assertive/Competency

4 = Withdrawn/Emotional Realness

5 = Withdrawn/Competency

6 = Dutiful/Emotional Realness

7 = Assertive/Positive Outlook

So, how is this helpful? Well, let’s take a look, for instance, at the different ways the Positive Outlook group displays its strategy. Nines withdraw to their Secret Garden to maintain their positive, idealized view of their relationships and environment. Twos dutifully go out into the world to make things better for others by being there for them, empathizing with them and doing for them. Sevens assert their positivity on others with their outgoing demeanor and focus on having fun and cheering people up.

One Harmonic Group, three very different expressions. You may know that you are a Withdrawn type, and having a hard time determining whether you are a Nine or a Four. But here you see that the Four is an Emotional Realness type, and you know that’s just not you. Voila – now you understand that you are a Nine! Sometimes it’s just that simple (but not always).

In the same way, you may be having conflict with your spouse and trying to figure out what makes him or her tick. After looking at the Harmonic Groups, you know your spouse is an emotional realness type. Then, cross-referencing with the Hornevian Groups, you see that s/he is not a Withdrawn or a Dutiful. Voila – the only other option is Assertive. Type Eight! Now you have a much greater frame of reference for understanding your spouse, and you understand that s/he will respond to you more readily if you display emotional realness when conflict arises – and will then be much more likely to hear you.

Understanding the interplay of these two influences in your life will help you in your spiritual growth as well, which is really the entire point of this blog. So, if I understand that I am assertive and have a positive outlook, I will understand why I can sometimes be “aggressively happy” – in other words, forcing those around me to come up to my happiness level and refusing to acknowledge others’ pain. I will understand that I do this because my Basic Fear is being trapped in deprivation or emotional pain, so that my personality will do everything it can to quelch this fear. Once I understand this pattern, I can begin to observe it, and it will begin to lose its power over me. I will become a more complete human being, able to experience my own pain and that of others, able to empathize rather than just cheer them up. In becoming more complete, I become more like Jesus. I move closer to my destiny.

These are just a few examples that I hope will give you ideas for how useful the cross-referencing of these two groups can be. Remember: the Enneagram is not merely fascinating. If you are able to apply your understanding of it, it will transform you.

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